In mutual relations of the man and the woman very important how much you are self-assured. How to distinguish the self-assured man from the uncertain? And how the self-assured woman looks? It is said that confident men love confident women. But how is to be, if you are not confident? The self-trust is a necessary condition harmoniously to build the relation with the partner and to avoid break up into your relations.
What features are self-assured people possessed? The American psychologist Andrew Salter has deduced six features of self-assured people:
1. Open expression of the feelings and spontaneity in dialogue, which is shown in expression of feelings at the moment of their occurrence.
2. Conformity between verbal and nonverbal display of feelings.
3. The Self-confidence, ability to protect own opinions and desires.
4. Readiness to incur responsibility and to tell on your own behalf, using a pronoun “I” instead of “we”, without trying to hide behind a facade of the dim and muddy formulations.
5. Ability to accept compliments and a praise, and also boldness to pay compliments to another.
6. Ability to accept such who you are. Condemning and denying any lines, you cause yourselves a huge pain and “are closed” from associates.
Uncertainty in interferes with setting of new acquaintances and is at the bottom of conflicts in interpersonal relations. The uncertain person gets tired of eternal doubts in the appeal or own importance, ceases to trust in success and good luck. Not confidence into yourself does not give possibility openly to express feelings and desires and to understand feelings of the partner and, thus, blocks a sincerity way to dialogue and mutual relations.
Signs of the uncertain person:
1. To Take offence at criticism in the address.
2. Not to finish affairs.
3. Often to change decisions.
4. Not to know definitely that you want.
5. To feel fear that to someone (to friends, a family, chiefs) you will not be necessary.
6. Fear of condemnation and derision, which does not allow even trying to go on contact and to build relations.
7. The Underestimated self-estimation and the deformed representations about yourself.
8. Uncertainty in the forces and abilities.
9. Negation of own uniqueness, which interfere with development of interpersonal relations.
10. Often hide the talent, without daring at its realization.
Result of uncertainty in yourself is the feeling of loneliness and estrangement from associates, the person starts to feel left and lonely, and according to the American psychologist Maslow, one of basic necessity of the person is a requirement for love and close relations.
You wish to love and be loved? Try to raise a self-trust! Growth of your confidence conducts to reduction of dependence on another’s opinion: about appearance and acts. The fear to hear condemnation or disapproval of associates is the powerful moment of braking on a way of development of the person. To find confidence, it is important to raise a self-estimation, to learn to love and accept yourself. Too many people have similar problems with self-confidence and their relations break because of it. Don’t worry and don’t be in a hurry to get your ex back. At first, you should get your confidence back and then your partner will come to you himself.
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